"You Deserve to be Loved"

Being in love is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Human beings rush to fall in and struggle to hold on. It is a beautiful and miraculous event when two people meet and fall in love. However, there are occasions when two people meet and the feelings of love are not mutual. Many experience this early feeling of rejection in middle school or high school - even college. It's often referred to as a school boy/girl crush or unrequited love. Many believe this is a painful but necessary life lesson. As we get older, and hopefully more mature, we learn to pursue individuals that are interested in exploring a relationship with us.

Love is a powerful emotion. Love cannot be forced, it has to be given freely. You cannot buy someone's love and affection. However, there are individuals out there, in the cosmos, who will take advantage of a person's love by using them - emotionally, physically and financially. If your lover or mate only shows you attention or affection when he or she wants or needs something and you give in, you are literally and figuratively buying into a painful and abusive head game. Denying that the problem or circumstance exists may indicate a lack of self worth or self love. Continuing in a "relationship" like this will most certainly lead to a broken heart and an empty bank account.

It is, indeed, important to love one's self and to have self-confidence; however, it is quite another when a person is obsessed with themselves, their needs, their appearance, their desires, their successes, their goals with no regard for anyone else. It would seem that there would be no room for another person in this relationship. Clearly, this person is in love with themselves. All the hoping, pandering and agreeing will not change this dynamic. Spending all of your time reassuring, protecting, bolstering and stroking someone's ego can be exhausting and disappointing. Take a moment and recognize that you matter just as much as they do. Spend some of that precious energy on yourself. It will be far more satisfying.

There are many hearts out in the world that have never experienced real love. For whatever the reason, their past has not allowed them to truly know the feeling. This can be the result of a dysfunctional and negative childhood or a broken heart that has never healed. Experiences like this may cause people not to trust love or believe in the concept of true love. Addictions, such as drugs and alcohol, are strong opponents - even if the person wants to love and be loved. Some individuals are simply not capable of giving, receiving or sharing love with another human being. It's not your fault no matter how hard you try to love the pain away. It has been said many times before -- you cannot love someone else, until you love yourself first.

Whatever your specific situation is, ask yourself a question. Do I love myself? The answer to this seemingly simple, even obvious, question will not be found in your lover's eyes or words, but in your heart and soul.