"Flirting: Harmless or Disrespectful"

Some people are blessed with beauty, some with charm and some with the gift of gab. People are naturally drawn to these special beings. Often, these gifted people are considered flirts or described as flirtatious. In the grand scheme of things, this doesn’t appear to be a problem. Unless, of course, you’re in a relationship with just such a person.

Many men and women have heard the following from their “flirty” mates, “I was just being nice.” It would seem that they are clueless to their own behavior. And as we all know, things are often not what they seem. Given the right circumstance, everyone is prone to a little harmless flirting. The question is -- when does it cross-the-line and become disrespectful, insensitive and embarrassing.

First off, you should know how your mate/lover will respond to you flirting with someone. If you know it will cause a problem and you love this person, DON’T DO IT!! If both of you are on the flirtatious side, here are some benchmarks to assess whether your flirting is harmless or disrespectful.

Harmless

Flirting with a customer service agent, in person or over the phone, so you can get better service. This would manifest in the form of a few compliments or a silly joke or two.
Flirting with a police officer to get out of a speeding ticket.
Flirting to get a table with a view in a swank restaurant.
And if you’re a salesperson, flirting is almost a prerequisite. Your job is to close that deal or make that sale. Once you have a signature on the dotted line, the flirtation should end.

Disrespectful

Overt flirting in the presence of your mate. This would manifest in the form of trying too hard to be “charming” with or over-complimenting a bartender or a waitress.
Flirting when your lover/mate leaves the room or your side and then lying about it. Sounds like someone might have a guilty conscious. This certainly is going to cause your lover/mate to become mistrustful of you. It is also would indicate to those around you, if you exhibit this type of behavior in front of friends and family, that you have very little respect for your lover/mate and relationship. There is nothing cute or charming about this type of behavior and it is anything but harmless.
Commenting about every woman or man in the room and how good she or he looks. This again is inappropriate behavior. Your attention should be focused on your lover/mate. Certainly, no one is blind and we all look. But there is a distinct difference between looking and leering. This can cause hurt feelings and ultimately damage your relationship.
Taking flirting to the next level. Flirting should not involve taking a phone number from another person or arranging to meet this person. Not only is this disrespectful – it is CHEATING, plain and simple.

On the face of it, flirting is quite natural; however, when the flirting becomes hurtful to your partner and puts your relationship at risk, it times to step back and tone it down.