"You’re Wrong. I’m Right."

Seeds of resentment are planted when power struggles rule a relationship. If most of your disagreements or arguments with your lover/mate hinge on who’s right and who’s wrong, you are both missing the point. When two people with strong personalities, competing interests and varying degrees of arrogance come together romantically, there are bound to be some power struggles. However, this can be remedied with some basic lessons in communication.

The unwritten history of love often points out that opposites attract. Some might interpret this to mean that people who are very similar to each other have an easier time of it. Not true. While they have many things in common, the areas in which they disagree or differ can be equally as stark. People are often attracted to traits in others that they respect in themselves.

For example, if you are a police officer and your mate is a defense attorney, it is safe to assume you both have very strong opinions about the law. You share a passion for justice; however, this very passion can divide you. If you are successful in separating your opinions about the law from your personal life challenges, then all is well. If the need to be right becomes the chief objective, you might need a little direction.

Here are some simple and direct steps to overcoming this obstacle. As couple, you must realize that resolution has nothing to do with who’s right or wrong and everything to do with constructive, positive compromise. Solving problems is a joint effort and allows both parties to feel good about the resolution. This will strengthen the relationship. Keep in mind, an apology is NOT an admission of fault. Laying blame will only hinder what you are trying to achieve – a consensus. Clearly identify the real issue so ego and stubbornness don’t get in the way. Work toward a realistic solution. During this process, it is important to validate each others ideas, opinions and contributions. Emotional blackmail, sexual or material manipulation or a good old-fashioned temper tantrum are not welcome in this process. Even if these tactics have worked in the pass, recognize that they are counter-productive.

There are no cookie-cutter solutions, every relationship is unique; therefore, each individual is responsible for exercising common sense and reasonable intelligence. The art of compromise is key to navigating the journey called Life. Compromise is absolutely necessary for a healthy relationship.